The following story, obviously, is pure spoilers for The Suicide Squad. If you haven't watched the movie—or somehow haven't come to this story with the express purpose of spoiling yourself—then please stop reading here!
I mean, look: it's already in the name, right? The damn movie is called The Suicide Squad. It's the sequel/reboot to Suicide Squad. The first version of the Suicide Squad debuted in the DC Comics all the way back in 1959. People in this movie were always going to die. And when the movie landed a Hard-R rating, and James Gunn—returning to his bloody, pulpy, Super and Slither roots—as director, you had to expect some outlandish death scenes.
And yet some of these still came as a massive surprise. That's right—in a movie literally called The Suicide Squad, some of these character deaths really ended up catching us off guard. Was it because of strong performances? In some cases, yes. Was it because of pure, utter shock? In some cases, yes. Was it sometimes just completely fucking bonkers in a way that maybe only James Gunn could pull it of? In some cases, maybe, yes.
Also, again, let's just be real for a second. This is The Suicide Squad. I'm only charting the characters who died here who, you know, had a name and some sort of character identity. I'm not about to start detailing the death of the guy who died because Bloodsport (Idris Elba) shot an electric fan and it fell on his penis (which, yes, really happens). Nor am I about to chart the death of the guy who gets his head sliced open by a boomerang in the opening moments of the movie (again, yes, actually happens). Let's stay focused here, people.
Either way, that's enough beating around the bush for now. You want to know who died in The Suicide Squad, so we're going to let you know who died in The Suicide Squad.
Weasel (Sean Gunn)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Opening scene of the movie. Drowned. (OK, at the end of the movie he randomly gets up and scurries off, but we're just going to count it for argument's sake.)
Blackguard (Pete Davidson)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Gets his face completely blown off in that same opening scene after attempting to sell his team out. Scumbag!
Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? At least the poor Aussie got a few boomerang kills in before he got hurt too much to move and then entirely incinerated by an exploding and crashing helicopter. One of our returning 2016 Suicide Squad team members, biting it in the opening minutes. At least he went out with a smile on his face?
Javelin (Flula Borg)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Ironically, just shot while he tried throwing his javelin. Not the most efficient of skills, as it turns out! At least he passed the Javelin off to Harley Quinn for.....some reason.
Mongal (Mayling Ng)
Warner Bros.
How did she die? Death by hanging from a helicopter, landing, and burning to a crisp. Bad!
T.D.K. (Nathan Fillion)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Did he die? It seemed to say he was in critical condition. But his detachable arms (TDK stands for...The Detachable Kid) were getting absolutely destroyed, while his body was writhing in pain. Didn't look great!
Savant (Michael Rooker)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? The first character we see in the movie (and the last one to die in this blowout opening sequence) got his head blown up remotely by Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) after trying to desert the mission. Michael Rooker with long, flowing hair—we hardly knew you.
Silvio Luna (Juan Diego Botto)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? This wannabe dictator villain clown was on some half-assed evil villain rant, and while he was wooing Harley Quinn, it wasn't long after he was talking about killing children that she shot him right in the heart. Moron.
The Thinker (Peter Capaldi)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? I won't say we hardly knew you to this guy, because quite frankly he was pretty annoying. His pet, of sorts, turned out to be Starro the Conqueror (who we'll talk about in a little bit). Anyway, Starro had his way with The Thinker, ripping him apart limb by limb before the rest of his body got completely liquified being thrown into a window.
Col. Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? This one hurt. When Flag and everyone else discovered that the United States was actually behind Project Starfish, and their mission from Waller was actually to destroy the evidence, Flag planned to take it to the press and go public with the information. At this point, it became apparant that Peacemaker was Waller's failsafe, and he would not be allowing Flag to do this. The two had an incredible fight scene, that unfortunately ended with Peacemaker stabbing Flag directly into the heart. His final line might just be the movie's most memorable moment: "Peacemaker...what a joke."
Peacemaker (John Cena)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Almost a Western-style duel with Bloodsport. Bloodsport's smaller bullet went directly through Peacemaker's, and shot him in the neck. He's dead! Or....is he.... (You've got to stay tuned for that post-credits scene, obviously.)
Milton (Julio Ruiz)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? POOR MILTON. Milton was just a guy trying to help. And Harley Quinn didn't even know who he was! Poor Polka-Dot Man. He loved him! Milton got shot. WE LOST MILTON!
Mateo Suárez (Joaquín Cosío)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Got face-hugged by a mini-Starro. Another moron.
The Rest of the Corto Maltese Generals
Warner Bros.
How did they die? Shot to death by all the freedom fighters.
Polka-Dot Man (David Dastmalchian)
Warner Bros.
How did he die? Polka-Dot Man. What a tragic story. Sees his mother everywhere. Has some weird neon polka-dots that constantly grow on his face due to an "inter-dimensional virus." Lost poor, sweet, Milton. Finally helped to fight Starro, and then got crushed so badly that he basically was silly putty. At least now he's reunited with Milton.
Starro the Conquerer
Warner Bros.
How did he die? It almost seemed impossible that the remaining Suicide Squad members would be able to take Starro down. But it happened. Harley launched herself into his big eye with Javelin's Javelin (finally knowing what to do with it), and Ratcatcher 2's many rats were commanded on in, eating all of Starro's nerve endings. This big guy gave a valiant effort, but he collapsed after this and was defeated. And then Harley climbed out of his insides and gave a thumbs up for good measure! What a movie.
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